taming the dreams

I've had periods in my life where I have used a journal on a daily basis and for prolonged periods of time. I had a religious routine when I was living in China. I was able to store all my memoirs over the course of my adventure. It was therapeutic and I need those memories. It's a lot more enticing keeping a journal when you have something you want to write about. Throughout this last year I've been totally distant from writing. I have found a spark with this blogging business. I find this blog is an open journal...

My boxing thoughts before a fight are so powerful. Especially since it is all so new. The last few fights seem to be more intimidating then my first couple fights. I remember saying on a few different accounts that going into the boxing ring has to be one of the most nerve racking experiences of my life. It is such a weird energy. It is not so much the day of my bout that is overwhelming, it's really the week before that is so intense.

I want to explain the POWER of my thoughts, when I have a long day and I finally get to my bed, my body is toast, my lights are off, it is then that my head enters the ring. I find this quite fascinating because I'm physically lying down, yet in my mind I am opening the ropes and stepping onto the canvas. I look at my future opponent, whom I have no idea what he looks like, and I get ready to rumble. I shake of the nerves and I get in my corner.

Meanwhile, back in my bed, my heart is pumping harder, faster, stronger.

Then back to the ring. We touch gloves; exchange blows; move and stick; look out into the crowd and exchange more.

Back in bed. I am now sweating and have the same heart rhythm as I do when I do sprints out in the soccer field . My thoughts are now in complete control.

This can go on for hours and it often does...

It is so amazing to experience this. The fact that I am lying in bed but my body thinks I am actually in the boxing ring just because of my thoughts. I physically sweat in my bed because of my thoughts. My heart races because of my thoughts. I can't sleep because of my thoughts. That is a lot of power.

But last night I was able to shelf it... for the first time. My mind was boxing and then I just had the ability to do some prayers and I was able to put it aside long enough to crash. In the past this was impossible.

It's freeing knowing there is something more powerful than my thoughts.

PS its totally crazy the way I feel about Micheal J's death. You know that saying "God will only give you what you can handle." I believe it was his time. He was called home...